I think you could safely say that today was a day full of surprises. I have found this diary I had lost twenty seven years ago – my Kitty - complete with three entries and I vow to now continue on with it from where I left off, if such a thing is possible!
I am no longer a teenager and had long forgotten this “Kitty” – half begun and never given the chance to run to her natural end.
After reading what I had originally written, I distinctly remember the day I made the last entry in this lucky book - the same day I lost it - because it was the day my life changed forever, it was the day another soul truly touched my own.
I was 15 when I wrote the last entry and am 42 now. I am trying to think of how I would describe myself back then but find myself quite unsure of the generalities of it all. The specifics however, come easier to recall.
I believe that from day to day, hour to hour, our moods change, our outlook on life, our purpose, our religion, our passions. Now I suppose what I am looking for to describe myself then, are the differences – the differences between the me then and the me now. I’m sure I would better define myself then as largely what I am now, but the differences, the change, interests me more. I suppose, I think, I was quite excited by life and its possibilities back then, whereas now, I wouldn’t say I was more jaded… well, maybe yes, a little more jaded, but also perhaps, a better-rounded person.
A lot has happened in the last 27 years and I shall tell you dear Kitty, my long lost friend, for each entry I make, I shall have to catch you up with the past.
For now though, I leave you, as I have sat in this wheelchair writing for long enough already today. But on parting I leave you the poem I finished earlier, before we were re-united, my dear, dear Kitty and I dedicate it to you.
Bric-a-brac
Boxes, boxes,
Endless boxes,
Of things and stuff,
Filling the rooms,
From floor to ceiling.
Mark the boxes,
Give them names,
Like This and That.
Look in a box,
Seal it - move it -
To another room.
One contains The Toys and Magic
And that long-forgotten face -
Keep moving the boxes.
From one to the next,
While losing the last,
Until a single circular stain appears,
Smile.
Seal it - move it -
Attend to the next.
Pray it's not the box
Which contains you.
I hope you like it Kitty. Such a lot has happened and now I am at another crossroads in my life you see. Moving on and leaving behind all the drama and laughter and tears that this big, empty house has seen.
I am so happy to see you again – but for now, I leave you till tomorrow, and moving day.
No comments:
Post a Comment